The Air I Breathe

It’s been one of those emotionally debilitating weeks. You know the kind. Your teenager leaves in anger and you don’t know where she is. The doctor says there’s nothing else they can do. Your employer is downsizing and you have two weeks left at a job you’ve held for the last twenty years. You have $2.47 in your wallet. There’s no gas in the car and stale crackers in the cupboard.

You want to curl into a ball, pull the covers over your head, have a strong drink, or run—anyplace, just away from it all.

Sometimes life stinks! Sometimes we cry out—to no one, to anyone, to God. Where is He? This isn’t right. It isn’t fair. If He was a loving God, He wouldn’t allow this to happen. Do you feel that way?

My week was filled with emotional pain and I may not have heard those words spoken, but they were felt. The fears and anger were beating on my heart’s door too. I didn’t like feeling this way—that helpless, hopeless feeling.

I headed for my garden, my quiet place. It was a beautiful fall day. The air was warm. The sun streamed down. I watched shadows dance across the grass. Birds sang. Bees hummed. Flowers lifted their faces and swayed. The words to the song BREATHE, sung by Michael W. Smith came to me. I hadn’t heard it in ages.

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your very Presence living in me.

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me.

And I, I’m desperate for You
And I, I’m lost without you.

The tears flowed. I was lost without Him. Yes, it had been a horrible week. I had forgotten that God isn’t IN the air I breathe. He IS the air I breathe. He is the warming sun. He is the song the birds sing. He is the hum of the bees.

He is surrounding that lost teenager. He is with my terminally ill friend. He is with my jobless friend. He is there!

I breathe in the warm air. I let the sunlight warm me. Words come to mind—promises, reassurances. “I will never leave you or forsake you. I love you with an everlasting love. Let not your heart be troubled. I give you my peace.”

I AM desperate for Him. I AM lost without Him. The pains are real. Life is messy and unfair! Yes, I cry for my friends and family in horrible situations. Yes, I feel helpless. I also know there is hope. I find comfort knowing that the air I breathe is the very breath of God, the One whose loves is wider, longer, higher, and deeper than you or I can imagine.  He knows and He loves!